Can't Lose You

He looked so ridiculous.  He clearly didn't belong at this concert.  In fact, I am pretty sure he only knows two songs that may or may not be performed.

He was there for me.  He knew I needed to get out of the house.  I needed to not drink this day away.  I needed to NOT sulk about that guy for awhile.

So he was there with me.  At a Type O Negative concert wearing a yellow Aeropostale hat and a polo shirt with cargo shorts and Adidas sneaks.  Amongst the black hair, black clothes, giant boots, black eyeliner (on guys as well as girls), black nail polish, black lipstick, well, you get it.

I was not quite that extreme.  I had on my jeans and black tank top, but i am a far cry from goth.  I just really like heavy music.  Or I did then.  It was sort of a leftover effect from the ex (another post for another time).

Anyway, he (the non-ex, but the friend) was here with me.  And I told him that I would drive so he could have some drinks.  He deserved that much after putting up with me night after night as I drank my dinner and cried.

There we were.  Quite a mismatched pair.

The heavy music started and he had some captains and cokes.  and after awhile, he got silly.  I had not seen him this silly in a while...it had been all about me and I hadn't cared about what anyone else had going.

But now I was seeing him.  Seeing what a good friend he was to me.  He consistently put my needy needs before his own.  Shoot, I didn't even know WHAT his needs were that summer.  I knew he needed a new vehicle.  And that was the extent of it.

And here he was, letting off steam, getting all silly on rum and coke at a concert where he TOTALLY didn't fit in, all for me.  He was such a great guy.  How does he NOT have a girlfriend?  I was just deciding that I would have to be a better friend and try harder to help him find a lady when it happened.

He leaned in to me as if he was going to tell me a secret.  He was all smiley and smelling like the inside of a captain morgan bottle.

"Hey," he says.  "you wanna know something?  I think I am starting to find you attractive."

Ok? What the hell?  Did he just use the phrase, "find you attractive?"  He had to be kidding, right?  RIGHT?

He couldn't be serious because A) we had known each other for eleventy billion years.  B) this just doesn't randomly happen at a Type O Negative concert. and C) he is my FRIEND.

So I started to laugh.  Of COURSE he was kidding!  Bwhahahaha!

Oh. Ok.  Phew.  He was laughing too.

We didn't talk about it again.  And that night, I drove him back to my house, but he still couldn't drive home, so he slept on my couch.

In the morning, he was gone.  We hadn't talked about it.  But we would.